Forever means now

We are finite and limited. Infinite, forever, nothing... are concepts limited by our perception limits. An empty box is nothing in a box but there is the box, there is us looking inside the box. We live in a world where there exists always something so the non-existence is intrinsically far from our understanding. Indeed, we try to avoid understanding and facing these concepts by, for example, thinking that when someone dies we can still feel them or have their memories, because we cannot understand what not existing is.
As well, forever is nothing, we all die, we change… However, we have our own explanation for forever. Forever is now, is an intention. Forever means that you do not think about the not existence. This instantaneous forever, even if there is no guarantee,  is the the enthusiasm, the positivism. The way I understand forever is the choice of being enthusiastic and positive. When you direct your enthusiasm to make something work rather than to prevent the consequences you are giving a real honest chance.

Restarting

This is going to sound alarming: I don’t want to play Sims. I have been dreaming with the day I was done with obligations and I was coming back home and have the chance to deviate my attention.  But now that I can, I don’t feel that is what I want. Somehow, as I grew up, I learnt what my role was or what I needed to find my place and stop fighting the world to finally start taking part of it. Then, I developed a voracious desire of belonging to somewhere. When you want so badly to take part of something there is always the fear that this something will not accept you. Nevertheless, I will definitely never know if I never try so I consciously made the commitment to not running away again.

I took the public transport this morning again. Not that I do it often lately, but today is not the day for bike stories. 

There it goes a big guy moving with thrill to get the first in and get a sit. I let the previous bus pass, it was way too crowded so I was one of the first to get in the following one. The bus arrives and the guy literally squeezes me to get in before me, ok… let’s just breath and assume that not everybody is as polite as you would expect.  We enter and sit, to my disappointment facing each other. An injured woman using crutches follows us. I would always let my sit to someone that needs it, I really don’t mind. However, considering he pushed me to get into and that he is with a group of colleagues and they are all sort of army officers… I assume one of them would stand up. The Guy looks at me and asks me to let her my sit!!!! I do, what if they accuse me of resistance to authority!! But not without thinking he is the biggest asshole in that bus, in the station.. and what about her… she sits down and smiles and thanks them, not me!!! What the F..k O_O